Finally, a Number That Matters

The smart bathroom scale that weighs what you leave behind. Track it. Rank it. Compete with friends. Put a number on your contributions.

Claim Your Founding Badge

Know your worth.

How It Works

Sit down. Handle your business. Stand up. We handle the rest.

Take a Seat

Sit down like you always do. ShitBit records your “before” weight the moment you settle in. No buttons. No setup. Just gravity.

🚽

Make a Deposit

This is your time. We won't rush you, judge you, or offer advice. You've been doing this your whole life. You don't need a coach.

Review the Log

Stand up and ShitBit weighs the difference. Your session is logged, your stats update, and your ranking adjusts. Nothing personal. Just math.

Inside the Throne

A toilet seat with opinions about gravity. Five components, one very specific job.

Exploded technical view of the ShitBit smart toilet seat scale, showing the top shell, four load cell sensors, bottom shell, processor with Bluetooth antenna, and rechargeable battery.
  • 1

    Top Shell

    Contoured, reinforced seat. Feels exactly like the one you grew up with -- just smarter underneath.

  • 2

    Load Cell Sensors (4×)

    Strain-gauge cells at each corner, accurate to within 5 grams. Every gram tells a story.

  • 3

    Bottom Shell

    Reinforced base that mounts like any standard seat. Does the heavy lifting so your load cells don't have to.

  • 4

    Processor + Bluetooth

    Samples the cells, computes the delta, and streams the result to your phone over Bluetooth.

  • 5

    Rechargeable Battery

    Low-power lithium cell with USB-C charging. Weeks of weigh-ins between plug-ins.

Capturing the Delta

The load cells, CPU, and your phone run a quiet four-beat handshake every session. You'll never notice it happen.

  1. 1

    Pair

    Bluetooth wakes the seat the moment you approach. Your phone connects silently -- no buttons, no app juggling.

  2. 2

    Before

    Four load cells sample and average your weight the instant you settle in. That number never leaves the device.

  3. 3

    After

    A second reading locks in the moment you stand back up. The CPU doesn't care what you were doing in between.

  4. 4

    Delta

    Before minus after equals the only number that matters. Signed, timestamped, and synced to the app.

Everything But the Plunger

A complete suite of tools for the modern bathroom professional.

Seamless Syncing

Bluetooth connects the throne to your phone. Walk in, sit down, and your session logs automatically. Hands-free, which is important given the context.

Competitive Movement

Daily, weekly, and all-time rankings among your friends. Finally answer the question nobody asked but everyone secretly wondered: who's number one at number two?

Achievements

Earn badges for milestones like “First Drop,” “The Pound-for-Pounder,” and “Regular as Clockwork.” Collect them all. Put them on your LinkedIn.

The LogBook

Every session logged with timestamps, weights, and deltas. See trends over time. Discover your peak performance hours. Are you a morning person? The data will confirm what you already suspected.

Share the Load

Share cryptic Wordle-style emoji recaps that only ShitBit users understand. Drop them in group chats. Watch the confusion. Let the initiated nod knowingly.

Airtight Privacy

Your data is encrypted and never sold. Friends see your output, never your body weight. What happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom. Except the numbers. We keep those.

“You track your sleep, your steps, your heart rate, and your stress levels ... and you're fine not knowing what just happened in there?”

Okay But Actually

The jokes write themselves. The health data is serious. Here's what your data can flag.

GI Conditions

Shifts in your routine can be early signs of IBS, celiac disease, or inflammatory bowel disease. Data catches patterns sooner than symptoms alone.

Malabsorption & Digestive Issues

Unusual output patterns can flag nutrient malabsorption, pancreatic issues, or chronic digestive problems. Your toilet knows. Now you will too.

Heart & Fluid Retention

Sudden weight shifts can signal fluid retention linked to heart conditions. ShitBit tracks your weight every time you sit down. No extra steps.

Share With Your Doctor

Longitudinal data your gastroenterologist, cardiologist, or GP didn't know they wanted. Regularity, output trends, and body weight All tracked passively. No effort required.

ShitBit is not a medical device. It doesn't diagnose conditions. But the data it collects is the same data your doctor would ask about.

Know Your Worth

The smart scale that gives your daily output the precision, recognition, and leaderboard placement it deserves. Coming soon.

Reserve Your Seat

Frequently Asked Questions

Everything you wanted to know but were too regular to ask.

Claim Your Founding Badge

Don't stall. Claim your seat before it's taken.

Founding Tiers

Early supporters get exclusive founding badges. Once they're gone, they're gone.